Headlines of the Day

Nebraska State Senator Sues God Over Natural Disasters

I just have a few questions - What??? Who do you think God's attorney is??? And how much do you think that guy charges?

Animal Expert Jack Hanna, Flamingo Get Stuck in Airport Turnstile

How in the world do you get a flamingo past airport security? I can't bring in shampoo!
Jack Hanna is off his rocker.

University of Florida Student Tasered, Arrested During John Kerry Forum

Tasered? I think that this puts us over the edge of wackjobs that live in Florida.

Hall of Fame or the Moon? Public to Decide Fate of Bonds Ball

Yup I voted - to asterisk that shit and put it in the hall of fame - that way everyone that visits can know that Barry Bonds and the 'record' are bullshit.

France warning of war with Iran

Riiiiight. What are you going to do about it France? Throw a croissant at them and smack them in the face with a mitten? I am sure Iran is just scared shitless about your 'threats'.

Sources: Britney Spears Will Temporarily Lose Custody of Her Children

Can I get an Amen? But seriously what is worse this nutjob or the FedEx Express? Those poor children - Angelina Jolie should adopt them.

Older men with younger women may up life expectancy for all humanity

Right. "But I just want to save humanity" Please.